If the Founding Fathers had any common sense, they’d have held off on finalizing the Declaration of Independence until October at the absolute earliest. Then, the following year, the night sky would have set the perfect scene for the fireworks displays that would ensue. But no – it was the summer, and they just wanted to get the damned thing wrapped up so they could go swimming and eat ice-cream sandwiches. Bastards.
- BenPaddon.net: “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom”
hey bible belt, looks like that abstinence only education is workin out real well for you down there.
Ad agencies and infographic designers seem to think everybody living in America is American. Which is fine, because it means I’m not at risk of any STDs while I’m in the country. Result!
Downside? Nobody cares about my preferred make and model of car. There’s no way to make “Millions of Americans and one British guy love the Chevy Volt” sound enticing.